How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We have so much sex to catch up on
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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