are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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