capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize