New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize