You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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