remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
