It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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