$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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