a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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