But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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