Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Found your dick twin last night
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
