We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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