i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
