I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
