what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
