so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
