I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
