Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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