We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize