Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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