She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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