she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
