Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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