I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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