when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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