I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
