I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
