At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
