Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
