I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I use my feet as sexual weapons
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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