we have officially lost it.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
