It's just like the Real World with babies
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
