ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Randomize
