You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
