what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
