38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
