About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize