my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
I do have a moral compass! I canβt help it if it only points at penises
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