12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
