Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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