my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
