shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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