My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
