You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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