I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
