everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize