hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
