make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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