Is it because I queefed?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
