What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
