we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
