Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize