I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
