Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
