weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
