I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
