is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
