Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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