Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This is my gift to your gina
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
