I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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