farters have to be the big spoon...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize