IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
